Duck – It’s Another Royal Wedding

Unless you’ve been living under a stone, or on Mars, you will have doubtless heard that Charles and Camilla are finally going to tie the knot.

I notice that the BBC’s web site was carrying one of those online polls: "Should Charles Marry Camilla" – Yes/No. I looked in vain for the third option: I don’t give a fig.

I fear that we are in for an avalanche of sentimental twaddle. Even the Dutch newspaper de Volkskrant today carried a large picture of the happy couple on its front page. Although perhaps there was a hint of Dutch humour contained in it: the picture was somewhat bizarre – Camilla and Charles are both pointing to their faces as though a bystander has just asked: "And where did you have your last zit?".