That’s the title of a wonderful book by Sherwin Nuland. I came across Nuland a little while ago when a talk by him was posted on the TED blog. As I said at the time, the talk is well worth watching and listening to. It brought tears to my eyes.
As a result, I sought out a book by him: How We Die.
I’m still reading it, but I am here to tell you that Nuland writes from a heart that is full of compassion, yet is realistic enough not to paint life in false colours. It is an amazing book. I have the feeling that he tells the truth, no matter how unpalatable that is. Yet he tells it in language that shows humanity, even at the direst end.
There are chapters in the book that spell out just what will happen when you have cancer, or AIDS or Alzheimers. He takes you to the brink of the pit and turns your face to gaze into its depths, but the strange thing is that having shown you the horrors, the reader (or at least, this one) comes away strengthened and ready to face what life (or rather, death) might bring.
I am reminded of this book because I was watching the John Grierson Awards on BBC Four, and Paul Watson won the Grierson Trust Award, in part for his documentary: Malcolm and Barbara: Love’s Farewell. I have not seen the whole documentary, only parts, but what I have seen only underlines that I would prefer to see the heartbreaking truth of things, rather than obfuscation and false colours. Truth matters, however uncomfortable it may be. In googling for the documentary, I came across this hit on the Orthfully Catholic blog that seems to me to miss the whole point so completely that it almost beggars belief. It’s a complete travesty of what Barbara Pointon was experiencing. That’s why I get so angry with religion, and the people who espouse such views.

