Following on from Ted Haggard’s fall from grace last month, it now emerges that another evangelical pastor in Denver has quit after revealing that he is gay. And while I confess to feeling a slight tinge of schadenfreude in the case of Haggard because of his virulent anti-gay rhetoric, the overwhelming feeling I have after reading the report on Reverend Barnes is sadness.
- Sadness that this man has punished himself throughout his life for feelings that he cannot accept:
"I have struggled with homosexuality since I was a 5-year-old boy… I can’t tell you the number of nights I have cried myself to sleep, begging God to take this away".
- Sadness over the pain that this non-acceptance has now brought about to his wife and family.
- Sadness that some of the nails in his self-imposed coffin were hammered in by his father:
‘In their only talk about sex, Barnes said his father took him on a drive and talked about what he would do if a "fag" approached him. Barnes thought, "’Is that how you’d feel about me?’ It was like a knife in my heart, and it made me feel even more closed."’
- Sadness that he remains trapped in a self-made cage, and one whose bars are continuing to be made afresh by his beliefs and the beliefs of the community in which he lives, and has, until recently, served:
‘Barnes described struggling with what he believes is the biblical teaching that homosexuality is an abomination. Over the years, he grew to accept that "this is my thorn in the flesh."’
I can’t help but feel that the sum total of human happiness would be a lot greater if people didn’t obsess over who sticks what in where. People are more than their genitals. Speaking of which, the Intelligent Designer wasn’t showing too much intelligence when s/he decided to put the entertainment complex in the middle of the sewage works…
Geoff Coupe's Blog 
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